What Are These...?

DATELINE: 29.06.09 PARIS, FRANCE

I may have mentioned before how much I adore the children that I take care of here. They are really such distinct personalities, often quite a handful, but truly in the end a lot of fun. It's interesting to be seeing the different stages of development and discovery they are each at.

A few nights ago I was taking care of Ellenor, the roughly 6mo old girl that I usually watch during the days, and her older brother, Julien. Julien is exactly 4 years old, is very precocious, very talkative and energetic, completely obsessed with anything related to pirates, and totally adorable. I only watch him on occasion. This was one such occasion.

At some point in the evening after feeding Julien and Ellenor dinner I was changing Ellenor's diaper. Julien was looking on.

Completely out of thin air he says to me, "Do you have a baby in your belly?"
"No, I don't. Why do you ask?"
"Because your belly is not flat."
(I'm thinking, "watch yourself, kid.") I reply, "Oh no, Julien. My shirt is not flat, but my tummy is, I promise."
"No it's not. My tummy is flat. You have nipples."
What could I do but laugh. "Ahh, I see. Yes, in fact this is true. I have breasts, and breasts have nipples."
"Why?"
"Well, when little girls like your sister Ellenor grow up to be big girls like your mommy and I, they have breasts."
"Why?"
"For feeding babies."
"But you don't have a baby in your belly."
(sharp kid.) "We have them even when we don't have babies in our bellies."
"Why?"
"So that they are ready for when we do have babies in our bellies."
"ooohhhh. So you might have a baby in your belly?"
"Not yet, kiddo."

We then promptly returned to far more important matters: Pirates.

This evening I was watching my little friend Alex, age 2 years. Alex is really precocious for a 2 year old. He is verbal on a level more like a 4yr old, very independent, sly, and well aware that he is cute as hell. When he is trying to get out of something he doesn't want to do or get out of being in trouble for having done something he shouldn't have done, he likes to go around the living room pointing out all of the portraits of himself and mama & pappa. He always goes first to the photo of himself and exclaims, "That's me!" He then replicates the huge grin he is wearing in the photo.

Tonight he is trying to get out of eating his dinner. He has, as of late, had decreasing interest in eating dinner until mama & papa are home. But feeding him his dinner is part of my job, so I have to at least try. So he is trying to weasel out of it, slide off his chair, and return to playing. I'm standing next to his chair to prevent him from exiting. He is running through all manner of distractions and excuses for getting down out of his chair, but they don't work as well as they used to. I too am a quick learner.

At this point he looks up at me and asks, "What are these?"
I look down to see where he is pointing. He is pointing at my breasts.
Before I can respond he asks, "Bubbies?"
He is now halfway out of his chair.
I cannot help but laugh.
"Yes." I reply, "Now eat your dinner."

But I am too late. He has slid off his chair while I was distracted by his question.

Dammit!, you're good at this game, kid.